review
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POSTED 11/9/11


EARTH DEFENSE FORCE: INSECT ARMAGEDDON

D3 Publisher
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)

Bugs? Fucking hate them. Intergalactic robot bugs? Fucking hate them even more.

New Detroitís been infested with them. Thankfully we donít live anywhere near there. But as Mr Mortein seemingly hasnít invented a big mo-fo spray insecticide capable of bringing down space creepy-crawlies, we do get to tune in, turn on and shoot the living robo-snot out of them in this dumb as dog shit shooter.

The graphics? Meh, fairly average.

The sound? Fnuh, itís alright.

The dialogue? Cheesier than Mayor McCheese in a melted cheese wrestling ring four-way with Alex James of Blur and those Kiwi guys from the Mainland ads... with a hose continually splooping even more cheese in as the grappling grapples.

The strategy? What strategy?

The action? Utterly mindless. Just shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot and shoot more. Until you hit an invisible wall, negotiate that, then start shooting again.

The weaponry? Start with an array of peashooters and work up to the sort of shoot once, kill everything stuff that Casey from Chuck dreams about. But youíll have to grind through a few times to get the cream of the weaponistical crop unlocked, for each of five soldiertastical stereotypes.

The word 'reload'? You'll learn to despise it...

Sounds cack, yeah? Nuh-uh. EDF: Insect Armageddon is what it is, and thatís a really super-fun mindless third-person shooter. Seriously, for every hunk of frustrated we experienced from invisible walls, endless fuck-knuckle bugs spawning right on top of us and dodgy collision detection, there were the moments of taking down screen-sized robo-nasties in a hail of explodey gloriousness, pancaking cities and just having a really bloody good time not having to think, just twitching that shooty finger, drooling, and repeatedly intoning the mantra ďone-more-go-then-bed.Ē

If you want depth, dive off the deep end. But sometimes the kiddie poolís where the funís at.

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2018. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.