THE PINBALL ARCADE
Vita/PSN + PS3/PSN (also on Xbox 360/XBLA)
since I was a young girl, I’ve played the silver ball. Admittedly
they were usually about three millimetres in diameter back then,
ensconced within a plastic cocoon with cardboard backing and a
flimsy sproingy-spring, but the seeds of future addiction were sown.
Years later I got to play real pinnies, and was in lurvvvvve –
despite relative craptitude at them. I even owned one once, and
learned what buggers they were to maintain. So, simulations have
This continuation of a project started many years ago to emulate
classic pinnies, that’s kicked around in various forms dating back
to the PS2 or thereabouts, is billed as “the best pinball simulation
ever created”. Well hello Mr Arrogant devs! Plus, it’s bullcrap.
Flipping (heh) back to how-we-were-taught-to-write all
non-individualistically, we’re intentionally yabbering about the
Vita version AND the PS3 one. Buy the former and you get a free
download of the latter, but that sucks balls as there is –
inexplicably - no delay adjustment, so our Sony Bravia offered just
enough flippertational pausiness to render it essentially
unplayable. Faily-faily-faily-fail guys. At least the
Zen peeps know their shit...
Anyway, popping back to Vitaville, we kicked arse due to the lack of
lag on the yummy OLED screeny thang as we charged through Williams
previously available Tales of the Arabian Knights, Stern’s
Ripley’s Believe It or Not, Gottlieb’s inexplicably popular (and
also previously available) Black Hole and Bally’s ace,
scoretastic Theatre of Magic. Unsurprisingly, more tables
will be purchasable via DLC.
These play fabulously on the wee machine, even if detail’s hard to
make out on the relatively teensy screen. Learn the tables though
and unless you’re an utterly unco spaz you’ll compete well – unlike,
we reiterate, on the PS3 one which is near-worthless until updated
with an adjustable delay.
Yeah, like anybody will listen to us. Or me, even.