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POSTED 14/7/12


THE PINBALL ARCADE

Crave Games/Farsight
Vita/PSN + PS3/PSN (also on Xbox 360/XBLA)

Ever since I was a young girl, I’ve played the silver ball. Admittedly they were usually about three millimetres in diameter back then, ensconced within a plastic cocoon with cardboard backing and a flimsy sproingy-spring, but the seeds of future addiction were sown.

Years later I got to play real pinnies, and was in lurvvvvve – despite relative craptitude at them. I even owned one once, and learned what buggers they were to maintain. So, simulations have always appealed.

This continuation of a project started many years ago to emulate classic pinnies, that’s kicked around in various forms dating back to the PS2 or thereabouts, is billed as “the best pinball simulation ever created”. Well hello Mr Arrogant devs! Plus, it’s bullcrap.

Flipping (heh) back to how-we-were-taught-to-write all non-individualistically, we’re intentionally yabbering about the Vita version AND the PS3 one. Buy the former and you get a free download of the latter, but that sucks balls as there is – inexplicably - no delay adjustment, so our Sony Bravia offered just enough flippertational pausiness to render it essentially unplayable. Faily-faily-faily-fail guys. At least the Zen peeps know their shit...

Anyway, popping back to Vitaville, we kicked arse due to the lack of lag on the yummy OLED screeny thang as we charged through Williams previously available Tales of the Arabian Knights, Stern’s Ripley’s Believe It or Not, Gottlieb’s inexplicably popular (and also previously available) Black Hole and Bally’s ace, scoretastic Theatre of Magic. Unsurprisingly, more tables will be purchasable via DLC.

These play fabulously on the wee machine, even if detail’s hard to make out on the relatively teensy screen. Learn the tables though and unless you’re an utterly unco spaz you’ll compete well – unlike, we reiterate, on the PS3 one which is near-worthless until updated with an adjustable delay.

Yeah, like anybody will listen to us. Or me, even.

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2018. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.