TEKKEN TAG TOURNAMENT 2
PS3 (also on Xbox 360)
Multiculturalism is ace.
Demonic things fighting schoolgirlie things fighting four-legged
things fighting beefcakey things fighting robotic things fighting,
erm, tree things – cultural diversity-wise TTT2 makes the UN
look like a bunch of slack-arsed molls.
Now, when demons/schoolgirls/quadrupeds/beefcake/robots/tree stumps
fight their battles and the battle’s in a puddle and the puddle’s on
a poodle and the poodle’s eating noodles, it’s called a... umm, Dr
Seuss book. Oops.
Back on track, TTT2 is the latest arcade bash ‘em up to make
the jump to home playabilitiness, and with the state of console tech
nowadays it’s missing very little save for a coin slot and dodgy
druggy types skulking in the shadows. Hell, you may have some of
them at home for all we know, we’re not gonna judge. In actuality
there’s mucho more than the arcade machine, with several online
options atop the local single or multiplayer, plus customisation
a-go-go from character design through to choonical accompaniment.
50 characters, give or take a few, have shown up to go all BASH!
CRUNCHO! THWOP! While the delightfully cheesetastic inbetweeny
scenes portray it as a kinda Live Aid for purveyors of fine
fisticuffs, it’s the usual fare of many and varied locales from
beachfronts to tulip fields, at least flying solo – as one player,
or two that you can tag between (hence the title). Hop online and
you’ll play real people. This can be sensational – or decidedly
Everything expected of a quality brawler nowadays is present. As is
the series’ form, those with NFI will be left floundering after
button mashing only sees a few levels conquered before being
poundingly pronounced prostrate and KOified within blippyseconds.
Ah, but practice – and a fucking good memory - will yield results,
grasshopper, as this thing has more moves than an octopus Michael
Whoa, look at that mother moonwalk!