POSTED 13/9/12


TEKKEN TAG TOURNAMENT 2

Namco
PS3 (also on Xbox 360)

Multiculturalism is ace.

Demonic things fighting schoolgirlie things fighting four-legged things fighting beefcakey things fighting robotic things fighting, erm, tree things – cultural diversity-wise TTT2 makes the UN look like a bunch of slack-arsed molls.

Now, when demons/schoolgirls/quadrupeds/beefcake/robots/tree stumps fight their battles and the battle’s in a puddle and the puddle’s on a poodle and the poodle’s eating noodles, it’s called a... umm, Dr Seuss book. Oops.

Back on track, TTT2 is the latest arcade bash ‘em up to make the jump to home playabilitiness, and with the state of console tech nowadays it’s missing very little save for a coin slot and dodgy druggy types skulking in the shadows. Hell, you may have some of them at home for all we know, we’re not gonna judge. In actuality there’s mucho more than the arcade machine, with several online options atop the local single or multiplayer, plus customisation a-go-go from character design through to choonical accompaniment.

50 characters, give or take a few, have shown up to go all BASH! CRUNCHO! THWOP! While the delightfully cheesetastic inbetweeny scenes portray it as a kinda Live Aid for purveyors of fine fisticuffs, it’s the usual fare of many and varied locales from beachfronts to tulip fields, at least flying solo – as one player, or two that you can tag between (hence the title). Hop online and you’ll play real people. This can be sensational – or decidedly demoralising.

Everything expected of a quality brawler nowadays is present. As is the series’ form, those with NFI will be left floundering after button mashing only sees a few levels conquered before being poundingly pronounced prostrate and KOified within blippyseconds. Ah, but practice – and a fucking good memory - will yield results, grasshopper, as this thing has more moves than an octopus Michael Jackson.
 
Whoa, look at that mother moonwalk!

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