POSTED 20/12/11


ABBA: YOU CAN DANCE

Ubisoft
Wii

AɃBA. Nope. AƁBA. No. AβBA. Nuh-uh. AʙBA. Grumpf! AϐBA. Urgh. AȣBA. Oh for the sake of all that’s got holes in it. 500+ weirdo bloody symbols in Word and no backwards ‘B’?! Get your shit together Microsoft!

Anni-Frid, Benny, Björn, Agnetha: Four people who made up possibly the most fabulously famous palindrome in world history. They also made the odd awesome pop tune or ten. They also also made some barrel-scraping clunkers.

Anyway, a mixture of the sublime – ‘SOS’, ‘Knowing Me, Knowing You’ (ah-ha!), ‘Waterloo’, ‘Mamma Mia’ - and the slime – ‘Bang-a-Boomerang’, ‘I’m a Marionette’, ‘People Need Love’, ‘Hole in Your Soul’ – bumps uglies in this all-singing, all-dancing, all waggling ode to three Swedes and a Norwegian who congealed as one of the most poptastic bands of all time.

From the peeps behind Just Dance, not surprisingly ABBA: You Can Dance (for that’s The Name of the Game) isn’t a million miles removed. Four cartoonisised human shapes take centre screen – two blokes and two chicks, the former brown-haired, the latter brunette and blonde – yet they’re not ABBA. Much like an Erasure EP, they’re ABBAesque, costumes and all. You pick one and try to mirror their jiverrific moves by waving the Wiimote around with gay abandon, going all Dancing Queen and hoping to score big by tune’s end. If you’re handy with that old thing called coordination you can sign into a mic simultaneously – although that won’t accomplish anything. Type it properly and sing, however, and you’re definitely more muscularly organised than us. If you do lack that old control then you can just dance or sing, Honey, Honey.

Yep, it’s ABBAgasmic fan service all the way. So, lay down your Money, Money, Money, say “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” to your shopkeeper and fall Head Over Heels into pop nirvana.

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