ABBA: YOU CAN DANCE
Nope. AƁBA. No. AβBA. Nuh-uh. AʙBA. Grumpf! AϐBA. Urgh. AȣBA. Oh for
the sake of all that’s got holes in it. 500+ weirdo bloody symbols
in Word and no backwards ‘B’?! Get your shit together Microsoft!
Anni-Frid, Benny, Björn, Agnetha: Four people who made up possibly
the most fabulously famous palindrome in world history. They also
made the odd awesome pop tune or ten. They also also made some
Anyway, a mixture of the sublime – ‘SOS’, ‘Knowing Me, Knowing You’
(ah-ha!), ‘Waterloo’, ‘Mamma Mia’ - and the slime –
‘Bang-a-Boomerang’, ‘I’m a Marionette’, ‘People Need Love’, ‘Hole in
Your Soul’ – bumps uglies in this all-singing, all-dancing, all
waggling ode to three Swedes and a Norwegian who congealed as one of
the most poptastic bands of all time.
From the peeps behind Just Dance, not surprisingly ABBA:
You Can Dance (for that’s The Name of the Game) isn’t a million
miles removed. Four cartoonisised human shapes take centre screen –
two blokes and two chicks, the former brown-haired, the latter
brunette and blonde – yet they’re not ABBA. Much like an Erasure EP,
they’re ABBAesque, costumes and all. You pick one and try to mirror
their jiverrific moves by waving the Wiimote around with gay
abandon, going all Dancing Queen and hoping to score big by tune’s
end. If you’re handy with that old thing called coordination you can
sign into a mic simultaneously – although that won’t accomplish
anything. Type it properly and sing, however, and you’re definitely
more muscularly organised than us. If you do lack that old control
then you can just dance or sing, Honey, Honey.
Yep, it’s ABBAgasmic fan service all the way. So, lay down your
Money, Money, Money, say “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” to your shopkeeper
and fall Head Over Heels into pop nirvana.