ASSAULT ANDROID CACTUS
Witch Beam Games
dictionary, we need to talk.
We love you, but we’re worried.
You’ve become, well, quite a hoarder. It’s OK though, for we’re
going to help you declutter.
Definitions for words like
relentless, intense, frenetic, stressful, sweaty and awesome – plus
all their Rogetified synonyms - can easily be shortened by changing
them to ‘See Assault Android Cactus’.
Assault Android Cactus is a twin-stick shooter that belongs
in the family tree of such arcade royalty as Robotron 2084
and Smash TV. In fact, if the name Eugene Jarvis had popped
in the credits we wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.
stems from a core team of three Brisbane-based clever people. They
do have impressive histories though, with resumes boasting names
like Midway, SEGA and the BBC.
This arcade heritage radiates
through AAC. Visuals pop like the best coin-gobblers,
sonics have a delectable SEGAfied quality, options and extras abound
– including local multiplayer - and it’s all assembled so slickly that you
could bung it in an arcade and just sit back and watch the coinage
You play as an android named Cactus, or
(eventually) any of eight other robo-chicks of varying abilities.
When we say abilities, we mean firepower. A series of chapters are
divided into levels, each of which has its own high scores and
(ambitious) aims for S-tacular perfection. With various big,
bastardly bosses to contend with, a spot of trial and error is
required weapons-wise. This is no namby-pamby shooter.
Being all battery-operated and stuff,
your chosen hero requires regular influxes of juice to continue
functioning. These generally pop at necessary times, but not always.
This is the only fault we can find with AAC – we swear
we’ve never sworn so much at a game than when, nanoseconds from
conquering a level, our character went all BAWOO-WOP-WOP floppy.
That aside, AAC totally rocks – let’s add ‘essential’ and
‘masterpiece’ to that decluttering list.