BEAT THE BEAT: RHYTHM PARADISE
“...and the Oscar goes to ‘Mole Getting Hit by Football’!”
A worthy winner, certainly, but hardly the only slapsticktical joy
to be beholden to in BTB:RP, the third Rhythm Tengoku
experience, the second to escape Japan and the first to assail the
You’d have to be dimmer than a dim sim factory awaiting a backorder
of sims to not glean from the title that rhythm’s somehow involved.
We’re not talking a Rock Band-esque
all-there-on-the-screen-for-you kinda thang, though. This is a much
sneakier assault on the beatiness inherent – or glaringly absent -
in each single solo individual’s personal (and, apparently,
tautological) makeup. Sure, the only controls are stabs variously at
the ‘A’ button or ‘A’ and ‘B’ combined, but audio and video hurls
curveballs – literally and figuratively, thank you Mr Mandrill -
that often make nailing jelly to walls a more confidence-inspiring
prospect than nailing a beat to the game’s satisfaction.
That last bit’s important, too. You start with one level unlocked,
and have to beat it to get another to pop – or wait for pity
progress. Whoo! Still, ace a spot of golf and you’ll unlock a café,
in which you can chill – read calm the fuck down - upon being
adjudged a miserable failure for the umpteenth time. or when you don’t even
find moles hit by footballs funny anymore.
Yep, humour’s big here, with some brilliantly timed and – as we’ve
kind of alluded to already - titter-inducing visuals ranging from
conga lobsters to piggy executives, with a whole lotta WTF
in-between. Plus, unlike those Yankee types, we get English AND
Japanese soundtracks. Nyahh-nyahh!
Two player options are flimsy, but chuck this on with a group handy,
pass the baton freely and piss yourselves. It’s also a handy way to
be reassured that you’re not necessarily the only Don ‘No Soul’ Simmons
amidst your friendular types.