POSTED 12/3/16


BLAST 'EM BUNNIES

Nnooo

That joke isn’t bunny anymore...

But Blast ‘Em Bunnies is very bunny. It’s full of bunnies. It’s overflowing with them. You could be tempted to let loose a hefty dose of myxomatosis just to quell the lagomorphic tide, but naturally shooting the living fluff out of them is wholly more satisfying.

For a little while.

You’re a bunny. For, well, reasons, you’re being besieged by other bunnies, and they’re bent on your annihilation. As luck would have it you’re ensconced within a turret, capable of rotating a full 360 degrees and equipped with various fruity and vegetabletastic arms procured from the local green grocer – or possibly purloined from farmers Peter Rabbit style. This part of the plot isn’t suitably elaborated upon, nor need it be.

In the base game you’ve one arena and fluffles of marauding bunnies (who subscribe to the Donald Duck school of sartorial elegance – in that dacks are optional) to deal with. Big bunnies, little bunnies, boofa bunnies, lean bunnies. Bunnies with babies, bunnies with knives, bunnies on land, bunnies in the air. It’s kill or be killed – and the latter will happen lots, mostly to you.

Then – just like your bunny protagonist - you’ll likely fall asleep while waiting for inbetweener screens to load. We’ve NFI what the need is for endless syncing, but it’s hare-tearingly annoying. It can last as long as an actual game.

As vaguely alluded to by the use of the word ‘base’ back there, there’s a buck-tonne of DLC content for Blast ‘em Bunnies. The usual array of arenas, skins and such. None are necessary, but variety is always nice.

At its best Blast ‘em Bunnies is, appropriately, a blast. But it’s so fleeting, and so fenced in by unfathomable delays when you just wanna get on with things that there’s no lapin up twitch replay value.

The bunnymoon is over.

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