BLOOD STONE: 007
(also on Xbox 360, PC, DS)
The Broccoli family: they inflicted the icky vegetable they so
modestly named after themselves upon us, but they gave us the James
Bond movies – for every sin there’s salvation, or something.
As any kid forced to eat the freaky, mutant, pea-meets-cauliflower
will attest, it goes better with cheese and, aptly, so does the 007
universe. The Broccolis may have had zero involvement with this Bond
flick that isn’t a flick, but the rennet flies thick and fast – as
Assembled like a typical Bond movie – opening extravaganza involving
boats, planes, parachutes, baddie-killing and saving G20 leaders
from blammyville, followed by flashy credits (avec theme belted out
by Joss Stone, who also earns her keep as the story’s requisite
bimbo), then a headlong dive into the main plot (stolen biochem) -
Blood Stone: 007 is both a triumph and a bugger. As the suave
super spy (in Daniel Craig guise, funky infrared phone and all) you
do the third-person stealth thing, the shooting thing and the really
awesome close proximity takedown thing. Then the pay-off arrives –
taking down the big boss for example – and the game takes over. You
do the grunt work and it gets the fun. Sucky much?!
There are also breaks where you drive assorted Aston Martins. It’s
kind of like arcade fave Chase HQ, but without the... erm, well,
there is chase, but not much fun.
With only six decidedly linear missions – in different countries,
natch - BS can easily be knocked over in an arvo. Yeah, it’s
longer than a Bond film, but we expect more life from an exxy game.
We’d love to end with a classic Bond line in “Shocking, positively
shocking”, but this isn’t. So “Average, positively average” will
have to do.