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POSTED 6/6/13


COCONUT DODGE REVITALISED

Futurlab
Vita/PSN

Coconuts. Is there anything that they can’t do?

Many believe them to be a “superfood” (despite their distinct lack of capes). You can cook chips in their oil, and when grated they add just the right amount of grit to Cherry Ripes. Plus, they’re great for making radios, computers, bowling balls and more, as we learned from that classic 1960s documentary about an unfortunate collective of seafaring day trippers who tragically lost their way in a violent storm and became marooned, Gilligan’s Island.

Coconuts are also handy for squashing crabs. This latter is somewhat bad news, not only if you’re a crab, but also if you’re playing this funkified remix of the mini Coconut Dodge (hence the ‘Revitalised’ sticky-taped – possibly with coconut-based glue - to the end). How so? Well, you’re a crab. A crab named Clawrence.

As Clawrence, your mission – whether you jolly well choose to accept it or not - is to skitter helter-skelter right and left along the bottom of the screen – or “beach” - dodging a cascading cavalcade of crushy-crushy coconuts as you collect all manner of booty from gold to diamonds to rubies to, erm, pearl necklaces. The precipitation sure is bloody strange in this place.

You’ll also get to play with the odd beach ball and... erm, not much else other than deal with stuff getting faster and furiouser. But just try not to get addicted.

It’s one of the simplest things we’ve ever played – and we’ve got an ancient Game & Watch kicking around somewhere - but dang if Coconut Dodge Revitalised doesn’t suck you into a vortex of addiction, at least briefly. Score more! Nab trophies! Play challenges! Beat friends! Get coconutty!

To riff on another classic ’60s documentary, about a poor widower with five kids and a bloody big bus to support by performing concerts of a musical nature, c’mon, get crabby!

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2014. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.