first rule of Shmup Club? Erm, talk about it, for fear of a blank
If Crimsonland wasn't inspired by the great
Robotron and arguably greater Smash TV then weíre
Mary Poppins. We reckon there are some Earth Defense Force
fans infiltrating 10tonsí ranks, too. EDF! EDF! EDF!
just this guy, you know? Youíre plopped in a drab and desolate arena
Ė brown and various shades thereof, at least until you get red on it
- armed with a puny boomstick. Youíre besieged by hordes of alien
and buggy assailants. You mustnít die. Well, you can, but thatís
Thereís a 60-level story mode, plus ĎSurvivalí,
which you should be able to work out the workings of from the name.
Knock over more story, get more modes. All of which are bastards.
Youíll eventually unlock 30 weapons, and numerous perks
which Ė annoyingly - arenít useable in story mode. Complete that and
youíll be missing one, itís hidden within hidden bonus game Gembine
(which is hidden) and owes much to Threes (or vice versa).
Even if youíve the intellectual perspicacity of a toothbrush
youíll get this. Shoot stuff, trying not to get overwhelmed and,
thusly, dead. The difference in weaponry can be palpable, and the
randomness with which itís dropped can be the difference between
your leaving oodles of mangled corpses or becoming one. While we
realise insanely long waits for reloads and such are to add
strategy, they just frustrated us. We just want to kill shit
unfettered! Still, regular explodey bonuses assuage stress a trifle.
It looks pretty dire, is often sluggish, many weapons are
useless and some trophies are for the wishful thinking department
(even the second of three difficulties is brutal). But despite our
swearing like Tony Montana with Touretteís at stuff we reckoned
could be better, we still had hours of big dumb fun with
Crimsonland. Plus, local co-opís a hoot.
So, say hello
to our little friend...