PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)
Honey, you look like Death!
Probably because, at least in this here gaming experience thingy,
you actually are Death. Horseman of the apocalypse and shitty dinner
party guest, for he does tend to cast rather a gloom over the
He’s pissed off because his bro War done got framed for instigating
the End of Days in the first game, so he’s energetically rampaging
through a place hovering somewhere between Hell and Heaven in search
of a Terrence Malick flick. It’s a joint that would be a super-savvy
place to set up a Mr Minit, ’cos there are more locked doors
requiring elaborate schlep quests than a... umm... place with lots
of locked doors where you have to faff about looking for keys.
Yep, basically Death, for all his power, is everybody’s bitch here.
“Oh, Death! Fetch this and I’ll give you something shiny!” is the
way of the rather Shrekishly populated netherworld, so you – and
your trusty steed, the inspiringly named Despair - trundle about
fetching shit. Still, there’s fun amidst said trundling, like combo
slashing the daylights (and nightlights) out of myriad beasties wee
and mofoingly massive with a gradually more powerful succession of
weaponry, from bog standard blades to a whopperous thing that’s
essentially a phone box on a stick.
If we say what we wanna we’ll likely be the zillionth to say it, so
we’re going anagrammy to be slightly original. Darksiders II
is strikingly reminiscent of Dog
of Raw, should ‘A Stork’ have evolved from the
Pincer of Praise. Still, other
than repetititititititivity from repeatedeatedeatedeatedly
schlepping through samey quests, Death has a cool way in snark,
usually the controls do just what you want them to, there’s
buttockloads of loot and the myriad power-uppable things rock.
Death may no longer be lurking in the shadows, but the consequences
certainly aren’t dire.