POSTED 12/9/11


DEAD ISLAND

Deep Silver
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)

Paul Hogan must die. Ever since those fucking ‘shrimp on the barbie’ ads it seems the entire fucking world thinks we Aussies talk like a pack of drawling, potty-mouthed fucking drongos. Stone the fucking crows! It’s a bloodyfucking-goddamnedpissbuntingmongrelshittingbastard outrage it is!

As that may lead you to guess, Dead Island is full of utterly fucking ludicrously exaggerated ‘Oztraylyun’ accents. Racism comes in many packages...

Anyway, you’re holidaying on Banoi Island, an idyllic getaway spot near PNG – or so the travel brochures promised. We hope you invested in travel insurance though, because it’s been overrun by undead fuckers. Not your usual, dumb-as, slow-as, corpsed-up shamblers, either. These particular fuckers are alarmingly agile... as you’ll soon discover.

Cue an openish world first-person brawler that’s stuffed full of missions which, upon completion, usually yield something extra for the skill set, be it the ability to get vehicular, create new hybrid weapons or just pocket sweet folding stuff. If that’s too much pressure, you can just trundle about taking on those aforementioned ‘z’-word fuckers with everything from fists and feet to an alarming array of found weapons (that wear out – they just don’t make metal pipes like they used to). It won’t get you far progress-wise, but it’s fun.

Dead Island pretty much accomplishes what it sets out to do – plop you bang in the midst of a creepy zombie-infested hellhole with a fucktonne of upgradeable weapons to gruesomely eviscerate them with in your fight for survival. It’s kind of a zombied-up Fallout, so if that sounds like your thing then you’ll find lots to like, and will forgive minor glitchy bits here and there. Four player co-op just sweetens the deal.

Meanwhile, we’re scouring those bungalows, weapons primed. That fucker Hoges has to be in one of them...

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