DEAD RISING 2
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)
We’d be really bloody worried if we were zombies nowadays. Not flaky
complexion issues or the inability to dance to any song other than
‘Thriller’, rather the need for sustenance from brains. Look around
– IQs are plummeting at an alarming pace. No brains = no zombies.
Except we’re not zombies, so fuck ’em all to hell – let’s smush ’em,
crush ’em, beat ’em and defeat ’em – YEAH!
Conveniently, if you’ve a hankerin’ for such zombie puree-ification,
then Dead Rising 2 may be your manna. It’s a zombie-bashin’
ace time – jus’ with fuck-tonnes of cutscenes to extinguish yo’
kill-buzz. Those cutscenes! There’s more of ’em than on a
hyperactive film editor’s floor. All this story involving the
onscreen you – motocross bloke Chuck Greene, who’s lookin’ out for
his littl’un, ’cos she was done munched on by a zombie and needs
this drug Zombrex to stop her goin’ all shambly an’ shit - is fine,
but if you just wanna get yo’ smush on, you’ll be waitin’ lots.
…and weve run out of apostrophes. Capcom love attaching excessive
verbiage to their zombie-fests, so we expect, but dont necessarily
like it. Zombie eradication – the main attraction - is awesome, just
punctuated too frequently by those cutscenes and loading screens.
Most anything can be grabbed and weaponified, but the fun doesnt
really begin until you go all MacGyver and concoct combo weapons. It
starts with nails in a baseball bat and gets nefariouser from there.
Theres heaps to keep diligent collectors collecting, although theyll
find themselves hampered by time limits so your kid doesnt cark it.
Then theres rescuing stray idiots. We suggest saving often – just
pop into a dunny - as sometimes a deadly zombie munch surprises.
Dang, were missin those ap-os-tro-phes more than our teeth...