POSTED 7/2/13


DEAD SPACE 3

EA
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)

Life is very long, when you’re lonely...

OK, three games now taking out giant Sharpies. Surely, we’re not the only ones who’ve sussed that all you need do to render them utterly useless is to leave their caps off?

Yep, the engineerical Newton Arthur C is back, targeting Markers. Dragged from a likely blissful drunken fugue by soldier boys, he’s tasked with saving the future. Again. Cue much shooting, dismembering and crushing the heads of muties – and the same for a handful of religious nut-bags. So far, so good. Off to the Unstoppable Sex Machine Eudora (the Carter was busy) and beyond!

The other two Dead Spaces delivered funktasmagasmical balance between shooty-shooty thrill-thrills and oops-I’ve-plopped-my-pants frights. DS3 errs more towards the former, which is great for laundry day, but not so great if you revel in soiled knickers moments. Then again, we may just be inured to it three episodes in...

So, you’ll traipse about landscapes ranging from Earthen to spaceshippy, with much icy to boot. You’ll shoot and dismember lots – we’ve established that already - as well as jujuing funky telekinesis for everything from opening doors to space gunzeliciousness shunting trains. On top of main missions, side missions open up. They’re usually worth it from a lootificent POV.

Meanwhile, if your inner MacGyver’s feeling neglected, this is the game for you! As you lollop about collecting shit, some of said shit can be crafted into ever-increasingly fabtastic weapon combinations. Which is, of course, all the better for mutie mastication. It takes some hang-getting, but once sussed it adds a whole bonus fun strata.

Co-op’s been shoehorned in, as has an alarming bunch of pay-for-it aids. This is sucky, but easily left to skanky cheats whilst proving your hard-as-fuck credentials by playing through properly.

The space is dead, boys, and it’s so lonely on a dismembered limb.

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