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POSTED 31/7/11


DEADLIEST WARRIOR: LEGENDS

345 Games
PS3/PSN (also on Xbox 360/XBLA)

“My legendary warrior’s harder than your legendary warrior!” Ever had such a playground-styled tauntathon? Us neither. But if you did, here’s where you can prove your favoured historical thug’s theoretical battle mettle.

This is a tie-in with the TV series Deadliest Warrior, wherein all manner of renowned highly-strung fighty peeps are played off against each other without historical accuracy, but with apparent combat experts queueing all manner of frightening-looking weaponry for them to get bloody with. As comedy it works on a certain bad taste level, but we’d be concerned if anybody takes it seriously – especially when they’ve actually pitted the Taliban against the IRA. Erm, cue concern...

It’s not exactly un-obvious how this translates to a videogame – one-on-ones with famed historical warmongers including Genghis Khan, Vlad the Impaler, William Wallace and Shaka Zulu. However, rather than having bouts whereby you’ve an idea of time remaining or health or whatever, these gore-spattered, limb-severing outbreaks of slicing, dicing, mushing and smushing may be over before you can blink... especially when you can fire off lasery phwooshes from the other side of the arena. Whatthefucknow?!

Combined with limited dialogue that’s campier than a row of tents at a Pet Shop Boys/Erasure double bill and synched about as well as a Godzilla flick with the soundtrack playing at 33 1/3 when it should be 45, if Deadliest Warrior: Legends included Monty Python’s Black Knight then we’d cautiously titter along, but these people really are serious.

Still, if it’s your thang then the characters are big and suitably brutal looking, and the inclusion of a ‘generals’ mode (Risk, essentially) will excite desk chair despots.

To those of you taunting us with cries of “come back here and take what’s coming to you, what are you chicken or something?” we’ve one thing to say...

Percuck!

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.