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POSTED
10/9/13
DIABLO III
Blizzard
PS3 (also on Xbox
360, PC)
Please allow me to introduce myself. Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, dark
prince, lord of darkness, antichrist, Voland, Iblis, Ned Flanders...
WOO-WOOO!
Diablo III is essentially
Gauntlet on steroids. Say the arcade classic equated to the
Schticky infomercial, Diablo III is kind of The Ten
Commandments comparatively. But with sticky things.
WOO-WOOOO!
Erm, whatever. Anyway, Diablo III is big –
really big - but in essence it really is what Gauntlet was.
Trundle around dungeons and such as any of a selection of character
types, marauding your way to loot, glorious loot.
WOO-WOOOOO!
Despite basically being an arcade romp, there’s a pimple of RPG
sticky-taped on, in the form of upgrades to character abilities and
fashion choices. As you hack, slash and otherwise dismember all
manner of supernatural ghoulery upon your travels to free a land
from the devil or something, you pick up all manner of this stuff.
Much of it is ephemera that can be sold or dumped, but every so
often you’ll find a funkier glove or hat or whatever which really
helps your vulnerability to ouchiness – plus you’ll look so much
swankier, darling.
WOO-WOOOOOO!
Things commence calmly
enough, but get past the first act and difficulty ramps – even if
it’s often the type of BS cheap difficulty whereby a horde of
powerful creatures just materialise right on top of you and you’re
dead before you can touch anything even vaguely resembling an action
button. Yep, mindfully managing those pickups matters.
WOO-WOOOOOOO!
Accessing upgrades is a rotational doddle, and once
you power up from your initial peashooter mode the fun of
eradicating massed throngs like a mythical Arnie is wickedly
addictive, as you trundle through increasingly huge maps which
skilfully don’t leave you schlepping about in circles mindlessly
trying to nut out the current goal.
WOO-WOOOOOOOO!
Pleased
to meet you, hope you guess my name.
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