POSTED 17/8/13


DIE! DIE! DIE!

iFun4all
Vita/PSN

Noisy New Zealand punk-popsters Die! Die! Die! formed in Dunedin back in 2003. This isn’t their story.

Still, for all we know it may be set inside one of the band’s members. Yes, Fantastic Voyage meets Missile Command in a shmup bulging with goop, germs and other assorted disease-ridden bacterial greeblies. But it’s cool, ’cos you’re a syringe full of green good-giving, erm, goodness as you get squirty in three distinct parts of the body – the intestines, veins and bonce.

These persevering pathogens are numerous, ranging from fast to slow and dumb as doggy plops to decidedly devious. You don’t just have green goop to squirt, as occasional power-ups pop ranging from smart bombs to speed-ups for you and slowdowns for gremmies. Accidentally explode one though and you’re briefly powerless. This usually results in failure – and we guess death for the somebody that you’re supposed to be protecting. Nurse!

Each of oodles of levels vary slightly in aim and challenge. Survive a certain number of bacterial blahs, or obliterate a quota to move on – all the while aiming for a gold medal rather than crappy old silver or bronze. This is where things can get vexing, as difficulty levels tend to undulate more than a yodeller’s uvula. Boss levels, for example, see a ludicrous spike in hardness. Then again, maybe we’re just shit.

At first encounter presentation can seem a little lacklustre, but if you actually RTFM that’s built in all makes sense. We found touchy-feely play best, but button believers can do their thing happily. Or sadly if they’re maudlin types.

If you’re squeamish then D!D!D! won’t be your go. But if you dig wickedly challenging, relentless old school arcade-styled shmups and don’t have a pissweak tummy then you just may find things – wait for it - infectious.

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