DR KAWASHIMA'S BODY AND BRAIN EXERCISES
Batten down the
hatches X-peeps, ’cos the first salvo of a Nintendo invasion has
Damn, this couldn’t look more Nintendoey if Mario etherised the good
Dr K and took over. “It’s a me, Dr Mario, now you worka that brain
good, a-yes?” – a sentence which might demonstrate the state of our
medulla oblongata following an extended Body and Brain Exercises sesh. Yep, if our thinky bits had eyes they’d now be represented by
Umm, where were we? Oh yes. Cutesy, Nintendoey, synapsey, sproingy –
uh-huh, this is essentially Nintendo fave Brain Age via
Kinect. But you likely worked that out already, without needing a
jot of brainercise.
Apparently “over 20” exercises (we managed 19) are here, but the
idea is that you pop in each day and do three that are randomly
chucked at you (or are they? Dun-dun-dunnnn!) in an attempt to buff
your grey matter. We won’t list them all, but they range from maths
based (‘Math Jock’, where like any jock you kick balls, but to solve
sums), to logic (‘Which is Bigger?’, where you make with body-sized
greater than signs), and memory (‘Matchmaker’, where you become a
kind of human Shape-O) to reflexes (‘Flag Frenzy’, where you go all
semaphorical and pretend you’re in the video for OMD’s ‘Telegraph’).
Briefly, they’re pleasant enough diversions, and the Kinect
functionality is mostly well-implemented, but it soon gets, well,
tedious – which may imply that our brain’s in OK shape,
thankyouverymuch. To return every day there needs to be more pull
than basic mini-games and some smartypants Japanese avatar telling
you that you’ve all the mental acuity of a withered eggplant.
We seriously doubt that anybody would stick with this other than the
most stubborn, dogged or... dumb.