DYNASTY WARRIORS 8
PS3 (also on Xbox 360)
CLINK-CLINK-CLINK-CLINK! Ca-rring-tons, come out to play-ayyyyyy...
Oh alright, so Dynasty Warriors isn’t ’80s soapie
characters going the biff in a dystopian NYC. But we’d buy that for
a dollar if it was.
We’d also buy this for a dollar, or even
several. Pretty obviously the eighth instalment in the main DW
series, Koei’s strategy battles for those who just don’t dig the
strategy bit delivers all that it promises.
stuffed with wave after wave after wave after wave after wave after
wave of adversaries swarm you all mozzie-like as you slash ‘n’ burn
a frenzied, bloodied swathe through them. Uh-huh, there’s ace
Japanesey arcade sound, from wailtastic geetaw shredding through to
cheesy dialogue that you laugh with, not at.
Sure, there’s a
massively branchy story mode chockas with 77 playable characters and
gigantic battles, along with a palace-building ‘Ambition’ mode which
adds more of an RPG feel to the throng-laceration, plus ‘Free’ mode,
where, of course, you don’t wear undies, returns. Those who like
co-op will like the co-op mode. Obviously.
Yep, it’s hacky,
it’s slashy, it’s hordey – yet it’s anything but boring. Alright, so
you can do the mash, do the button mash, but master the various
combos, weapons, counters and funkgasmoricious attacks – including
from horseback - and you’ll feel gooderer about yourself. Or
‘better’ if you’re not illiterate.
If you can’t sit back and
relax as you choppity-chop your way through oodles of mindless meat
puppets over and over and over and over and over like a monkey with
a miniature cymbal then you’ll like this about as much as previous
episodes of Dynasty Warriors. But fans should dig the
tweaks and tune-ups – even if you still can’t have Joan Collins
beating seven shades of shite out of Heather Locklear.
see... Well that will do, I suppose.