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POSTED
30/3/15
DYNASTY WARRIORS 8: EMPIRES
Koei
   
WA-OOGA! Call the gamer cops! We’re fakes!
Yes, it’s true.
Why? Well, we have to admit to not having played every single
Dynasty Warriors game ever, along with its variants dating back
to Romance of the Three Kingdoms in the 1980s.
As
such it came as quite the surprise when we sat down – incredibly
eager for a whole heap of mindless yet joyous hack and slashery -
and were faced with more admin work than a secretary who isn’t being
boffed by her kinky boss all day has to face. Which is, of course, a
fuckload.
Yes, we’ve loved the arcade silliness of the
Dynasty Warriors
games that we’ve played previously, all of which gave a slight bow
to options and stuff, but mostly existed for maximum carnage. We’ve
respected that. We’ve been keen for more, regardless of how similar
they may be to prior outings.
So, we had to do some research.
What we discovered is that there’s an infinitely more strategic side
to Dynasty Warriors’ history. No gags about 1980s soapies
involving Maoris here, this is serious, Mum!
Acknowledging
that some may prefer this real time strategic bent to the delight of
hacking through infinite hordes like a Ginsu demonstrator on
fast-forward, we must tell you what’s new.
Customisation –
as the admin overload that we’ve mentioned suggests - is key. You
choose characters, you create characters. You start big or work your
way up to greatness. You can be good, you can be bad. You can forge
alliances, or raze them to the earth. You deploy armies, utilise
numerous new weapons and otherwise create your own version of
history. You can even do this stuff online. The ancient Chinese
invented the internet. Who knew?!
If you’re unsure – and
after reading this drivel that’s likely - try the downloadable
Free Alliances version, which is, appropriately, free. It’ll
let you know whether you’re real or fake...
  
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CLICK
THIS!
CLICK
THIS!
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