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POSTED 30/3/15


DYNASTY WARRIORS 8: EMPIRES

Koei



WA-OOGA! Call the gamer cops! We’re fakes!

Yes, it’s true. Why? Well, we have to admit to not having played every single Dynasty Warriors game ever, along with its variants dating back to Romance of the Three Kingdoms in the 1980s.

As such it came as quite the surprise when we sat down – incredibly eager for a whole heap of mindless yet joyous hack and slashery - and were faced with more admin work than a secretary who isn’t being boffed by her kinky boss all day has to face. Which is, of course, a fuckload.

Yes, we’ve loved the arcade silliness of the Dynasty Warriors games that we’ve played previously, all of which gave a slight bow to options and stuff, but mostly existed for maximum carnage. We’ve respected that. We’ve been keen for more, regardless of how similar they may be to prior outings.

So, we had to do some research. What we discovered is that there’s an infinitely more strategic side to Dynasty Warriors’ history. No gags about 1980s soapies involving Maoris here, this is serious, Mum!

Acknowledging that some may prefer this real time strategic bent to the delight of hacking through infinite hordes like a Ginsu demonstrator on fast-forward, we must tell you what’s new.

Customisation – as the admin overload that we’ve mentioned suggests - is key. You choose characters, you create characters. You start big or work your way up to greatness. You can be good, you can be bad. You can forge alliances, or raze them to the earth. You deploy armies, utilise numerous new weapons and otherwise create your own version of history. You can even do this stuff online. The ancient Chinese invented the internet. Who knew?!

If you’re unsure – and after reading this drivel that’s likely - try the downloadable Free Alliances version, which is, appropriately, free. It’ll let you know whether you’re real or fake...

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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.