Young told us everybody’s rockin’. Harry Nilsson declared
everybody’s talkin’. Keane then reckoned everybody’s changing.
Meanwhile, Buzzcocks reckoned everybody’s happy nowadays, whilst
some old bloke our parents listened to believed everybody’s
beautiful. Now Sony tells us everybody’s golf. Funny, we don’t feel
OK, so it’s just a peculiar title for a golf game if taken in the
context of ’everybody is’ rather than the actual ‘it belongs to
everybody’. Isn’t English fun, kiddiewinkies?
Basically, grab the immortal – except it was never alive, so maybe
we should just say ‘ timeless’ and be done with it - Leaderboard
and mix in copious amounts of Sailor Moon or some other giggly
girlie anime and that’s a starting point for Everybody’s Golf.
Despite ladybirds crawling over your balls and bears partying on the
green, the written sound effects and happy-happy-happy squeaky
voices, the endless positive reinforcement and more chirpiness than
the many birdies your aiming for could ever muster, the cutesy-pie
stuff shouldn’t fool you. This is a very solid, option-laden 18-hole
You can play it simple arcadey – shot strength, swing, thwack - or
grow accustomed to the faces of advanced features, allowing rather
alarmingly full control over what happens when you go club swing
now. Being Vitaesque, naturally touchy bits come into play, but trad
buttonal functions are just as workable.
Chuck in portable online play, generous rubberband man opponents
(you never feel you suck too suckulently), shopping, oodles of
challenges beyond just getting balls into holes and enough
customisation to have your average hot-rodder drooling, and
Everybody’s Golf is quite snaptacular.
Much like tennis, you don’t need to dig watching golf to enjoy
playing it – especially when you’re avoiding donning shitful plaid
clothes and hanging with wankers. Everybody’s Golf is snap,
ping, ting, plop, bang. Teehee!