FARMING SIMULATOR 17
Giants Software/Focus Home Interactive
little piggy went to market. This little piggy went to market. This
little piggy went to market...
Then it cried wee, wee, wee
all the way back to our farm in the back of a truck. Heavy
machinery’s big (literally and figuratively) in this here glimpse
into life on the land.
At this juncture we feel compelled to
express our love and gratitude to cockies everywhere. You keep us
fed and full of yummy milk – and you work what must be the most
boring fucking job in the history of everything ever to do so. Well, if this simulator’s anything to go by.
it’s like most sims. You start off small, work your arse off
and get rewarded with even more work to diminish your derriere.
You mow fields, till them, seed them, harvest them, plop the grain
in silos, sell the grain then do it again. Of course you can rev
things up with a trip to market for those aforementioned piggies and
other livestock such as moo cows. This all happens alone or in
You can stick to the script and farm, chop
trees, raise animals and the like. Or you can go all Grand Theft
Tractor seeing how much stuff you can run roughshod over.
you’d expect, the more you earn the better gear you can purchase. A
raft of licenced vehicles from over 40 brands are here, from ones
even we’ve heard of like Massey Ferguson to the likes of Horsch
(which apparently isn’t something that you ride around the farm when
While impressively presented and packed with
features, we’re not entirely sure who Farming Simulator’s for.
Surely the last thing actual farmers would want to do in their
minimal downtime is recreate what they do all day? So maybe it’s for
rural fetishists? After all, there is that Rock Band song ‘She
Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy’.