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POSTED
8/8/13
FLOATING CLOUD GOD SAVES THE PILGRIMS IN HD!
Dakko Dakko Vita/PSN
Boo-doo bum-bum-bum, ba-dum-bum bum-ba dum...
Love, love,
love. Love, love, love.
...and another one’s gone, and
another one’s gone.
Love, love, love, love...
Another
one bites the dust!
Love, love, love...
One simple
mash-up, one game reviewed. Yeah, pub time!
What? You need
more on top of that and the delightfully descriptive title? Oh,
alright.
FCGSTPIH! is a retro-slanted horizontal
scrolling shooteristic affair vaguely reminiscent of Defender,
in which you, the titular cloud god, look after the also titular
pilgrims. In HD, natch. With an exclamation mark!
These
aren’t pilgrims in your classic John-Wayne-is-big-leggy western
sense though, more in a Flying Tigers meets The
Barbarian and the Geisha. Just without the tigers, the
barbarian and the geisha, but with beautiful Japaneseyness and,
well, lotsa flying.
So, you shoot baddies trying to thwart
our pilgrims’ progress. This amounts to an array of batshit-bonkers
sprites that the likes of Parodius or Fantasy Zone
would be chuffed to call their kin. Said pilgrims trundle along
undaunted beneath you, save for the odd hat rescue, as you not only
take out their adversaries, but also absorb bullets so as they don’t
get dead. In return, they give you love, love, love, which gives you
more power if used wisely. Firing relentlessly isn’t necessarily the
best strategy here. But! Buttity-buttity-but-but-but! Let them get
hit and they’re goners. Lose them all before level’s end and it’s
restart city, population you.
Seven levels divided into
various stages, each with creatively creative boss fights with an
eye to classic shmups ensue. As is tradition, it gets rather fucking
challenging as things progress, but not stupidly impossible.
Balance is good, but the game’s short. Still, it’s hardly
expensive, you schnorer-pants, you! Plus if you’re feeling blah you
get pilgrims declaring their love, love, love. Which is, of course,
all you need...
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey-a-yeah!
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