review
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POSTED 15/10/12


FORZA HORIZON

Playground Games/Turn 10/Microsoft Studios



Don’t you hate it when something tries hard to be cool?

Forza Horizon combines good bits from the revered circuit-racing series, TDU, DiRT, Burnout Paradise and more, then lets you loose into the big wide open world of the seemingly always sunny Colorado.
 
You’re a hip and happening young upstart bloke – yes, there’s no chick option, fuckyouverymuch - who arrives unknown at the sponsorship-drenched Horizon Festival, a collision of car culture and music. Obviously organisers have the first part sussed, but have NFI musically – New Order billed fifth?! Fuck off!

Speaking of, you’ll kill the choons quickly as the DJs are appalling. Just listen to your machine as you hoon the highways – bliss!

Little doesn’t score money or points – hit a stop sign and you’re a winner! Nab money, buy more motors, or win them in dodgy street races or daft showcases challenging airplanes, helicopters and luftballons. Find them roof-deep in pigshit in barns and have your guy fix them – don’t ask... Sadly, however, playing ‘punch buggy’ with the inordinate amount of New Beetle traffic doesn’t yield goodies. Aww, no achievement?!

Enter circuit and road races. Win, get points, earn coloured wristbands, unlock more challenges. Hit special signs for discounted upgrades. Break records on speed traps dotted around the joint. Suck corporate cock and score stuff.

You’ll likely pick a pet car from clunktacular shitbox to high-end Lamborghini Pointypointy, hyper-upgrade and love it. We really put the RS into our poor matt black Focus bashing it around mercilessly, something which usually – usually - doesn’t hinder progress much. Everything’s tuned for enjoyment from the get-go, although constant pedal-to-the-metal will quickly induce automotive pinball – use that accelerator as it’s supposed to be used, and remember brakes exist. You can also disable all assists and play tough guy, natch. Smartybum!

Yes, Forza Horizon tries super-hard to be cool. But the game amidst all the phoney-baloney is really bloody good.


Although Burnout Paradise is still acer...

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.