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POSTED 30/3/11


GHOSTBUSTERS: SANCTUM OF SLIME

Atari
PS3/PSN (also on Xbox 360/XBLA, PC)

Who ya gonna call? PLAYTESTERS!

Itís a shame Atari didnít for this utter mess thatís an affront to every dual stick shooter thatís ever been, or ever will be. Thatís not to mention the insult it is to Egon, Ray, Venkman and Winstonís fine enterprise.

The original foursome should be really fucking relieved that they play little part in this fetid flop. The story involves them being really, really, ridiculously busy, so they hire interns as another ghostbusting team. Or something.

Cue an isometric overhead view thingy that resembles the great arcade deity Smash TV in that itís an isometric overhead view twin stick shooter thingy. Sadly, thatís where any resemblance ends, for Smash TV rocked.

We donít know about you, but when we head out to bust ghosts we want to arm ourselves with seriously impressive firepower. What weíre given here has all the oomph of a Care Bear fart. Woo! Thereís a proton pack. Boo! Itís wimpier than Horace Wimp. Two other weapons are introduced, but they make the proton pack feel positively Schwarzeneggerish and testosterone oozy (9mm).

Meanwhile, the camera appears to have been possessed by the ghost of Lars von Trier (Huh? Heís still alive? That can be rectified). Youíll toddle along, hating life, when the screen will do the Time Warp with a massive jump to the left.

Thereís no balance. Four players can go at it and have some hope of getting through, but if youíre solo you are fucked. Certain enemies fling themselves at you with such velocity theyíre unavoidable, and they laugh in the face of your puny peashooters. Haha! Boo! Haha! Boo! Hahahahahahahahaha! Cark it Ė and you will - and a teammate can revive you, but it takes so bloody long that theyíll invariably be slimed during the process.

In this case, bustiní makes us feel BAD.

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.