GHOSTBUSTERS: SANCTUM OF SLIME
PS3/PSN (also on Xbox 360/XBLA, PC)
ya gonna call? PLAYTESTERS!
Itís a shame Atari didnít for this utter mess thatís an affront to
every dual stick shooter thatís ever been, or ever will be. Thatís
not to mention the insult it is to Egon, Ray, Venkman and Winstonís
The original foursome should be really fucking relieved that they
play little part in this fetid flop. The story involves them being
really, really, ridiculously busy, so they hire interns as another
ghostbusting team. Or something.
Cue an isometric overhead view thingy that resembles the great
arcade deity Smash TV in that itís an isometric overhead
view twin stick shooter thingy. Sadly, thatís where any resemblance
ends, for Smash TV rocked.
We donít know about you, but when we head out to bust ghosts we want
to arm ourselves with seriously impressive firepower. What weíre
given here has all the oomph of a Care Bear fart. Woo! Thereís a
proton pack. Boo! Itís wimpier than Horace Wimp. Two other weapons
are introduced, but they make the proton pack feel positively
Schwarzeneggerish and testosterone oozy (9mm).
Meanwhile, the camera appears to have been possessed by the ghost of
Lars von Trier (Huh? Heís still alive? That can be rectified).
Youíll toddle along, hating life, when the screen will do the Time
Warp with a massive jump to the left.
Thereís no balance. Four players can go at it and have some hope of
getting through, but if youíre solo you are fucked. Certain enemies
fling themselves at you with such velocity theyíre unavoidable, and
they laugh in the face of your puny peashooters. Haha! Boo! Haha!
Boo! Hahahahahahahahaha! Cark it Ė and you will - and a teammate can
revive you, but it takes so bloody long that theyíll invariably be
slimed during the process.
In this case, bustiní makes us feel BAD.