GOD OF WAR: ASCENSION
These bloody flies!
Those oft-repeated words of Dad each Perth
summer echoed in our auditory canals as another batch of the little
winged fuckers assailed us in the latest exploits of the bloke with
the muscleboundiness and red GT stripe, Kratos. Dad only had to
contend with little black ones craving his grub though – they didn’t
have human on their menus.
Despite being the umpteenth God of War
outing, this one’s prequelistic, as we discover what made Kratos
the raging ball of fury that we know and love, as he seeks vengeance
upon an Irish folk band. Yep, another Greek mythology-drenched,
vaguely interactive, Harryhausenesque movie unfolds.
“vaguely”? Well, yeah. We challenge anybody to adapt to an inability
to swing the camera heartily with the right stick when desired.
Instead, K rolls like a NASCAR driver on fire. The camera’s on a
predetermined rail and will NOT deviate. Then there are infuriating
invisible walls. We can hear the distant din of devs sneering
So, we’ve issues beyond the obvious lack of player
control. The camera often zooms so far out (man) that a certain
vengeful protagonist will be so utterly infinitesimal that you can’t
pick him amongst the melee of brawling bods he’s amidst. Oh, but it
looks gloriously cinematic – that’s all that matters, right?
Meanwhile, that meleeingness tends to be rather stilted. Sure
innumerable new and funktacular attacks unlock as you progress
(we adore controlling beasties like a steroid-stuffed brain slug),
but you can’t just let rip with gay (or straight) abandon. Stabbing
repeatedly at R1 trying to emit a chain of doom and having it obey
only when it can be arsed isn’t fun.
All the ingredients of past
successes are here, and it’s not horrible, but GoW:A feels more “Oh
god” than “Oh God!” Perhaps the time has come to give Kratos and his
kronies the Aerogard treatment?