GRAN TURISMO 5
Heh. After waiting several years for GT5 to be proven real,
we couldn’t help but chuckle when confronted with around 60 minutes
of install upon start-up. What’s another hour, right?
So, 8GB later and all's smoother than a Lotus Elise’s bum, yeah? Nup.
Prepare ye the way of the load… almost everything sucks time from
racing, and more installation occurs along the way. Wow.
Putting aside load-time angst, GT5 delivers on one promise.
With around 1,000 cars of varying shapes and vintages, this is a
motoring-lover’s wet dream – unadulterated vehicular porn. Attention
to detail – down to fonts used on showroom-styled number plates –
cannot be questioned. As for attention paid elsewhere, however...
After waiting this long, we don’t feel it unreasonable to expect a
GT experience bordering on perfection; it’s just not the
case. Sure, there are more tracks, race styles, challenges and even
go-karts than you could shake a dipstick at, but what links them
together is – surprisingly - sloppy, and despite looking reasonably
pretty (but not amazing), the races don’t approximate any feeling of
dangerousness. Anybody who’s experienced a real track day will know
that exhilaration, for if you fuck a corner up, you could kinda die.
How sloppy? We remapped the controls, but had to restart our PS3
before they were recognised... The learning curve earning licences
is as wayward as Lazy Line Painter Jane on the turps… In-car view’s
only available for some cars… Sound FX = lame... Menus are a mess...
Music's usually ridiculously inappropriate… We excitedly unlocked
the Top Gear test track for (drum roll) a VW Kombi race about
as speedy as our Mum! S-l-o-p-p-y!
GT5 demands points for sheer audaciousness of scale, but
needed more attention to stuff that matters – rather than getting
the aerial looking just right on that MINI.