POSTED 3/10/10


HALO REACH

Microsoft
Xbox 360

Yeah, the world needs another Halo Reach review like Megan Gale needs botox, but suck it up, ’cos we’re doing one. You can click away if you want, but you never know, there may be boobies…

With the pool o’ drool fanboyism surrounding the Halo series, creators Bungie could have copped out for their final instalment – a prequel - before toddling off to pastures less Halotastic. Face it, if they’d cobbled together any piece of crap such as Halo: Master Chief’s Magical Marshmallow Meshugas it would have received more rabidly serious discussion of pros and cons than global warming has inspired. So, credit to Bungie that instead of going out with a meh, they appear to have given their all, saying goodbye to their cash moo-cow with panache.

That’s not to say that Halo Reach will make every wannabe supersoldier a happy little Vegemite. Whilst some will ogle the often majestic graphics and let a little dribble globule loose from the corner of their mouths, others will remain unlubricated. Whilst some’ll dig on the single player campaign as they exterminate umpteen waves of mean-bean Covenants, others will bemoan a lack of variety. Whilst some will cack themselves at the fromage-riddled dialogue, others will claim that story was an afterthought, tacked on to connect several random gameplay ideas. Whilst some will reckon the online multiplayer redeems any single player shortcomings, others will whine about lag or those fuckwits who just piss-fart around.

You get our point? A new Halo game is such a BIG deal that no matter how good or bad it actually is, it'll polarise opinion for more reasons – sane and batty - than some of us have had hot showers. We’ve enjoyed our time with it more than we expected, for whatever that’s worth.

Oh yeah, boobies… OO

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