POSTED 22/11/15


JUST DANCE 2016

Ubisoft

Early in 2015, the UN Security Council snuck through a resolution making it mandatory that everything in the world ever includes ‘Uptown Funk’ by Mark Ronson ‘feat’ Bruno Mars.

While organisations the world over scramble to meet this requirement, lest they be bombed by rather oxymoronically-monikered peacekeeping forces for their insubordination, Ubisoft have it sorted – of course!

Yes, it should go without saying that this annual release of their unbeatable dayglo party favour Just Dance includes the omnipresent hit. It also includes many other chart things, which will be revelled in by most anybody under the age of 15.

Unfortunately that sense of derring-do (yes he did sir!) which pervaded most previous JD releases – where classic new wave, rock and even (gulp!) indie territory was plundered - has been hurled out the window, with a brick tied to it to ensure that it disappears without a vaguely floaty whimper. There‘s scarcely anything other than modern chart fodder – plus shitty covers and Disney stuff, be it from movies or former Mouseketeer types - among the 44 tracks here. Unless you pay to subscribe to Just Dance Unlimited, which is where they hide the good stuff...

Begrudgingly getting past one of the franchise’s most myopic playlists yet, control methods are plenty. Talking PS4, for that’s what we’re talking, your old Move controller works (assuming it’ll still hold a charge), as will the PS4 camera (albeit a tad shakily) or a smartphone app. Actually, to clarify, an iPhone or Android app, for the Windows Phone version only seems to support the Xbone. On this we call shenanigans...

As well as the familiar solo or group play, some new modes say hello, including ‘Dance Quest’ – which has you challenging your console - and ‘Showtime’, which allows you to get all care-and-share with recorded performances online.

It’s as fun as ever, but that playli... Shit, the UN’s knocking! Uh, GIRLS HIT YOUR HALLELUJAH – WOOOOOOOOO!

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