is it with zombies and brown? Seriously, if we’re ever undead we
promise to exert more colourific flair.
We’ve certainly been
colourific with expletive-flinging playing this twin-stick
zomb-’em-up, as it always manages to find new and really fucking
annoying ways to kill you – if zombie hordes don’t get you first. Oh
look, an ambulance fell from the sky and squished us! Sure, it
flashed red on a red battlefield as warning, but as we had a
billionty shamblers surrounding us we kinda couldn’t move...
‘Pushing shit uphill’ is the modus operandi of
#killallzombies. You start in a hexagon-riddled gamefield with
the pissiest weapon this side of a marshmallow torpedo. Somehow you
must endure enough waves of z-words to unlock “better” weapons for
Even once unlocking a relatively effective
blaster, you’ll still be fucked from the get-go. Those clever/nasty
Beatshapers peeps can plonk up to 1,000 undead fuckers onto the
playfield at once, and when you’re a few stages in and they move
three times faster than you then you’re toast.
Sure, you gain
“perks” as you level up (hint, save these for as long as possible).
However, their perkiness is debatable when most hamper progress,
save for a couple of quick obliterators. They’re either too random
or just plain deadly to you. You’ve four of many to select from, you
must choose one once activated, you may have no option but death.
We played 16 hours, maxed at level nine and didn’t encounter any
Twitch broadcast is novel, whereby
viewers can dictate perks and more. Yeah, like anybody’s helpful.
There’s something wrong with human nature...
Also, you only
get a third of the game! Two modes, ‘Flag defence’ and co-op, are
“coming soon”. Umm...
So, like the predominant colour here,
#killallzombies is excrement, yeah? No. Despite myriad issues,
ridiculous difficulty and lack of balancing, it’s somehow still
just-one-more-go compelling. Shit!