got the blahs with Earth so opt for a seachange – or in this case
planetchange – and it just isn’t the experience you
pictured. Welcome to Helghan. You’d think the first syllable just
might have been a teensy hint...
Bored-as, what’s there to do? Stamp collecting sucks arse – and the
Helghan Philatelic Bureau’s sorely lacking creatively anyway. The
live music scene’s about as lively as Sydney’s, telly sucks… fuck it,
let’s give warmongering a bash – as long as we get snazzy uniforms
with metal bits.
Welcome to the latest episode of first-person shooter Killzone
– Days of Our Lives for the belligerent. It directly follows
the last; you and buddy Rico, soldiers of Earth’s ISA, have
disposed of Helghast despot Visari and just wanna get the hell
home. Naturally it’s not that simple...
So, is it any cop? Well, looks-wise, Killzone 3 could easily
land a modelling gig, likely specialising in the “grey steel” pose.
Story-wise, well... an average Nazi-inspired tale is helped somewhat
by Malcolm McDowell kicking buttock orally, but he’s a baddie so
we’re supposed to hate him. Unfortunately, however, he’s more
huggable than you or Rico.
Support for Sony’s Move doobrie’s added. We don’t have the new
machinegunny ‘sharpshooter’ attachment, so we tried our pissier bloop-gun pistol
thingy. You wave it about pointing where you want to look, and it
feels about as natural as breathing jelly. That big mofo peripheral
may be better, but otherwise we’d stay DualShock all the way.
Vehicular interludes add spice, as do jetpacks, and a weapons
cache that’d make John Wayne drool rocks. Meanwhile, if you’re
underwhelmed by the linear single-player campaign, the multiplayer
may slap that smile back on your dial.
Helghan may not be picture postcard material, but Killzone 3
most certainly is.