Aww! Awwwwww! If cute had an alternate spelling it would be K-i-n-e-c-t-i-m-a-l-s.
OK, we’ll try to control our hyperactive cutesy appreciation glands
and type something useful about this game-cum-experience. Think
virtual pets such as Tamagotchi or even Nintendogs, but
looking lots nicer, playing lots nicer and captivating lots nic...
You’ve arrived on an island named Lemuria, where a bizarre, undying
cross between a bee and something furrier named ‘Bumble’ hovers
about being chipper, whilst guiding you and blahedying on about lost
treasure and some hoary old pirate dude. You get to adopt a little
big cat – tiger, tiger, tiger, tiger or tiger (OK, our
Richmond-in-the-AFL supporting bias is showing, as there are
leopards and stuff, but when you can choose a tiger then who
wouldn’t?!) – train it, feed it, play with it and otherwise become
all pet-owny. Just without the bills, the shedding, and the slobber.
The Kinect works superbly here, as you bond with your tiger (Jake in
our case), calling it, scratching behind its ears, brushing it all
over, feeding it, hurling balls at it, sending it hooning about with
remote controlled cars etc. But there’s more than messing about, as
that Bumble creature guides you through progression that includes
simple missions, uncovering maps, new toys (o-weh-oh!), redecorating
your hut and more, all on a quest for... TREASURE!
We see two big markets for Kinectimals: the obvious – kids,
who will go apespitcrazybonkers over this - and flat-dwellers who
aren’t into animal cruelty (unlike our downstairs neighbour, who
keeps a puppy jailed in his one bedroom flat). Maybe there’s a third
category – bonkers cat ladies in training. But we’re not one of
them, oh no – BWAHFRARGLEBLARBGLARBWARFLE!
If you’re even a bit of a softie then Kinectimals is