KINECT JOY RIDE
Holding your arms out in front of you and pretending to steer a car
is all well and good if you’re a Wiggle, but for us less colourful,
less skivvyfied folk it’s really fucking weird.
Every hardware launch needs a racing game, and this is Kinect’s.
Going very much for a similar cartoony vibe to Mario Kart, it
nails it. The whole thing looks faberoonie, personal avatars and
all, but it’s very much a case of looks like a fish, moves like a
fish, steers like a cow (moo!).
It’s a real shame, as mode-wise Kinect Joy Ride’s firing –
standard races, stunt races, dashes, smashes, tricks, weapon-infused
mayhemenous races – and online.
The thing is, all you pretty much have to do is try to steer, as
acceleration and braking are out of your hands. The only control you
have over your speed is by engaging short bursts of boost.
There’s a decent array of tracks and oodles of unlockable vehicles,
however it’s a grind playing enough to unlock worthwhile upgrades.
Yay for there being a green Kombi (well, a van approximating a green
Kombi), which inspired swells of nostalgia as the first ‘car’ we
drove in real life was a green Kombi, but melancholy doesn’t make up
for control issues. We were flailing about performing perverted
adaptations of the chicken dance just trying to negotiate corners;
one moment the game was saying “nuh”, then suddenly our car would
perform such a violent turn that we’d plough grille-long into a
barrier. We even tried clutching a Mario Kart Wii wheel, but
it didn’t help.
As a Kinect game this is a disappointment. If it had the option for
standard controller play we reckon it would be ace – which is
exactly what Kinect isn’t about.