review
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POSTED 5/1/11


KINECT SPORTS

Microsoft
Xbox 360/Kinect

Where there’s flannel there’s bogans, where there’s boardrooms there’s arseholes and where there’s motion detection there’s a sports compilation. We hold these truths to be self-evident; although not all sports games are created equal.

Now there’s an example of how much US culture has impinged upon Australia, we’re quoting the fucking Declaration of Independence!

Anyway, Kinect Sports is the inevitable package of sweaty pastimes for Microsoft’s movementy thingy. It packs variations on soccer, bowling, track and field, boxing, beach volleyball and table tennis and, just like the C&C Music Factory, it’s gonna make you sweat. Unless you stick to bowling, in which case you’re softer than a Nerf marshmallow.

Kinect Sports looks the part, and has several neat-o touches such as revving up the crowd avec fist pumps, minigame variants, videos of you in flagrante delicto (ARGH!), multiplayer and snatches of licensed tracks from the likes of Blur, Kasabian, BTO and Queen punctuating events – so, big points for presentation.

Play-wise, however, different events offer varying levels of succeeditude. The soccer thing’s hardly FIFA on a stick, although it’s fun blocking and going the goal kick, and highlights how Kinect can uniquely detect what your feetses be up to. Bowling’s a bit flooby in that it’s quite hit and miss, whilst track and field with its five events is fun, although the likes of discus don’t really involve much interaction.

Boxing works better than the Wii one, whilst beach volleyball suffers from lag, tries to make up for it with targets and just ends up frustrating and messy. Ping... uh, table tennis is a hoot though, especially smashing the living crap out of a ball and watching your opponent going “wha...?!”

You’ll laugh you’ll cry, you’ll hurl... erm, you’ll jump, you’ll pump, you’ll sweat? Towel, stat!

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.