Donuts. Is there anything they canít do?
Well, for starters
they canít make this isometric rip-off of
Hotline Miami any better.
No matter how much sugary, jammy, icingy goodness Ė
UNGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! - they may contain.
Itís a damn
shame, too, as this here idea had potential. Actually it still has
it, for if somebody did this right...
Anyway, LA Cops
plops itself firmly in the halcyon days of buddy cop shows Ė
the 1970s and í80s - and absorbs every sexist, racist cue that it
can from the era. Authentic homage or flimsy justification? Hmm...
With relatively unique pop art visuals that highlight the facial
fuzz while dispensing with such lip-synching requirements as, ooh,
lips, the player Ė singular - controls two cops chosen from a small
pool of stereotypes in eight missions (plus bonus levels) involving
taking down shonky types.
At this juncture we must ask why
the fucking fuck is there no local co-op? Seriously?! Didnít it
occur to the devs that it was kind of a really bloody obvious
Yeah, OK. On with it.
So, levels are all
similar, and all populated with numerous sharpshooters who put that
American Sniper bloke to shame. You and your chosen partner
also have firearms, and a button press will lock on to one baddie.
But let off one shot and more often than not a swathe of their
fellow lowlifes will assail you, and before you can blink youíll be
deader than whatever the fuckís inside a Chiko Roll and convinced
that this should be called LA Corpse. Yet other times, bad
guys will ignore you entirely, allowing sneak-sneak arresting.
This lack of AI consistency is the most frustrating
aspect of many in LA Cops, along with the feeling that with
a tad more attention and time this could have been absolutely
But it isnít. Our advice? Donut enlist.