POSTED 8/5/12


MARIO PARTY 9

Nintendo
Wii

Come listen to the story of a bloke named Mario
A plumber with a red shirt, blue dacks and a schmick-o mo
The hostest with the mostest, he throws super-swell parties
Until that wowser Bowser tends to bring him to his knees.
Spiky green thing. Nasty temper. Wicked laugh.

Ok, that’s enough of that. Welcome to Mario’s ninth soiree, super-stacked with 80 minigames and numerous ways to play them.

The party starts swingin’ with a spot of group stargazing. Ooh pretty, and sparkly! But then, well, the stars start going out. One by one. Ploink! Ploink! Ploink! No more stars. Naturally it’s that nasty piece of work Bowser going the buzz kill, cracking the sulks ’cos he wasn’t invited again. He’s not the shiniest button on the coat; if he decided to play nice with the other kids they might let him into their shindigs. Isn’t he a silly spiky thing, children?!

Umm, we seem to be suffering some interference from the Play School scriptwriters here, but we’ll push on. Won’t we Big Ted?

AGH!

OK, quick facts. There are lots of fun minigames too numerous to mention, but some keywords are dolphin, axe, fiery and pizza. What is essentially hoary old board game Snakes & Ladders, but nastier, sees you plopped into Big Red Car with Dorothy the Dinosaur, Captain Feathersword and a boot-load of hot potatoe... What?! Now The Wiggles are invading?! What the...?!

Right. All players traverse the board together, rather than individually, getting stars back... Way too much reliance on chance thanks to dice-based mechanics... Some really nasty pitfalls that can see a dominant game turned tattery at the last minute, resulting in ultra-sulky kiddie-winky-bratsicles... Beautifully presented, oodles of options, not too much waggling, fun for all, fans should like...

Phew, made it! Toot toot, chugga-chuggaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!...

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