MASS EFFECT 2
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)
Let’s try condensing the Star Trek story into one sentence.
Curiously-cadenced captain with penchant for snogging anything that
moves leads politically correctly chosen crew including pointy-eared
dude and bloke who cannae push it any harder through adventures in
It just doesn’t cut it.
We could try summarising Mass Effect 2 – a RPG/TPS (for the “bwah?”
emitting, that’s Role Playing Game/Third-Person Shooter) - in
similar fashion, although we’d be doing it just as much disservice. It
may not assimilate an entire bookcase like a Star Trek box
set, yet it packs a mighty sci-fi wallop.
But hey, we'll try anyway! As Commander [insert chosen name here] Shepard – be that chick
or bloke - you lead a group on... a mission. For further spoiler
aversion we were going to spin shit about marauding synthetic Goth
armies led by Andrew Eldritch, but that would just be dumb as
they’re synthetic Geth armies – so obviously they’re led by Androw
Oldritch. But seriously folks, you’re a product of ‘The Lazarus
Project’ and have been reconstituted after being FWOOMPed into space
when the SSV Normandy went BOOM now, so fuck it, suicide mission?
Numerous cutscenes with occasional interactive outbreaks usually
make us consider snuggling with winos a preferable pursuit. Mass
Effect 2 scuppered that (sorry to all brown paper bag toters
whose hopes for lurve we’ve just dashed) as it’s just so enveloping.
You get superb writing, voice acting, pacing, humour AND an elusive
man, impressively non-convoluted controls (considering how many
functions hang off one wheel sticky-taped to R2) and four DLC packs
that Xbox 360 peeps paid extra for. Score!
If you’ve ever been into anything labelled ‘Science Fiction’ – even
if it was just the Divinyls song - then get with the programme and
get with Mass Effect 2.