POSTED 18/5/13


MEN'S ROOM MAYHEM

Ripstone
Vita/PSN

Birds do it, bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it, let’s do a poo...

Yep, the Vita’s gone to shit, literally. In Men’s Room Mayhem you’re a heavenly janitor – we describe you so adjectivally as you’re unseen, looking down upon patrons from a vantage point above proceedings.

You’re a custodian of all things bodily waste disposalistic. You eventually get the keys to seven public conveniences, ranging from biker bar to circus, nightclub to beachfront kinda thing. Your aim (heh) is to achieve various toiletry KPIs in guiding your patrons to where they need to go (heh-heh), while avoiding embarrassing encounters of the wee, poo or fisticuffsy kind.

Your clientele varies wildly. There are those desperate for number ones, so a timer timers away DUN-DUN-DUN-illy as you scramble to prioritise them while others amble about wishing to urinate or defecate without such bladder-squishing time pressures. You also might get an old hippy who like just forgets man, an old bloke who’s a bit doddly or clowns who split in to two to do-doo number twos.

This full service waste management deliverable coordination is synergised via your primary digital interface – your finger. A patron enters, you draw a line guiding them in turn to a dunny, the sink for squeaky-cleanliness then the door to get them the hell out of your domain. You can skip step two if you’re ambivalent about the spread of hepatitis and general ickiness – don’t eat the peanuts...

Sounds familiar? Yep, it’s Flight Control. Or Shite Control – for rhyming fun, rather than hyper-succinct review purposes. It’s essentially identical, just with a graphical disguise. Hell, the music’s even similar.

But Flight Control (stupidly) isn’t on the Vita, and Shite Cont- sorry, Men’s Room Mayhem, is and it competently holds its own. Despite being as original as dunny door doodle doodles...

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