Xbox 360/XBLA (also on PS3/PSN)
“My mercury’s in retrograde”. We’ve NFI what Bloc Party were on
about there, but this game features mercury and that song was about
it, so another questionably relevant introductory paragraph sinks
slowly into the west.
The game? Menu-wise, Mercury Hg could be mistaken for
Breaking Bad: The Game. It’s all periodical tabley, but there’s
no Walter or bitch-face Skylar, Los Pollos Hermanos is but a
random trio of Spanish palabras and there’s certainly no
creepy Giancarlo Esposito exposition.
Instead, it’s kinda Marble Madness meets Super Monkey Ball.
Or perhaps Blobble Madness meets Super Monkey Blob, as
your marble/ball is a fluidesque poisonous silver lump. There’s also
some de Blobby colour
theory, although we’re fucked if we know how green and red make
yellow. Anyway, the bonus is there’re no frickin’ apes, monkeys,
gibbons (funky or otherwise), mandrills, orang-utans or other creepy
simian creatures. The difference is that you tilt the board upon
which your globule’s globified, rather than the glob itself, and
that you can lose globby percentage if too gung-ho when cornering.
60 levels of gradually more angst-inciting viscous-blobtasticness are where
it’s at (whether you’ve two turntables and a microphone or not), as
you splorb around collecting bonuses, going colour-swaptational and
assailing sticky, splitty, sliding, rotating and more other types of
squares than you’d disinter at a right-angles-rule convention.
Options abound, with timed challenges, bonus stages, ghosts to beat,
online score-whore nirvana and more. Plus it’s all rather nattily
super-flying-fun-HD graphicamatically. You can play to your own
music, although whenever we tried the game soon stuttered to near
It’s yay to go all Marble Madness-inspired physics puzzler.
But when it was accomplished infinitely more fungasmically 27 years
ago, you must take time to ponder...
Tick. Think. Tick. Think.
Hmm, perhaps Mercury Hg needed to be more retrograde?