METAL GEAR SOLID V: GROUND ZEROES
Right, let’s see if we’ve got this straight.
You’re the Dude.
But you sound like Jack Bauer. Rather than just hanging out with
Walter and Donny at the bowling alley though, you’re actually a
crack covert ops, erm, dude. Something, something, Bruce
Springsteen. Something, something Paz and Chico. The latter is not a
South American comedy duo.
Look, fans of all things Metal
Gear will know enough of what’s going on without us offering
shitloads of exposition, for there isn’t a lot here to expose. How
so? Well, if we exercise our cynical side we’d say that Ground
Zeroes is essentially a demo for what’s to come in The
Phantom Pain. If we’re more generous then we’d say it’s a
prologue for the big event. An extended trailer. But a playable one.
The classic control scheme has been tweaked to place even more
emphasis on stealthiness – utilising binoculars, radio and your own
personal Blackberry-like doobrie. Of course, if you’re fucking
bonkers you can go in all guns blazing instead – and be deaderised
so quick that your head would spin were you not actually all dead
and stiff and stuff. But you’ll have fun doing it.
Sure, it all takes place
in one single, solitary Cuban pre-Guantanamo prison camp-type
dealie, and if you romp you’ll get lucky if you manage two hours of
play, but on the positive side there’re also several side missions
which add value should you choose to assail them, and it bears a
smaller price than a full-sized game.
Anybody who’s played
anything by him knows that Metal Gear overlord Hideo Kojima
is quite a twisted puppy, and MGSV:GZ underlines that.
We’re torn between dribbling spoilers everywhere and mentioning how
utterly sickened we were by certain events which transpired.
So, reluctantly, we’re taking a page from Buffy’s playbook in
summing up. Fire bad, tree pretty...