PS3/PSN (also on Xbox 360/XBLA)
Take the best orgasm you ever had, multiply it by a thousand and
you’re still nowhere near it...
Yep, that’s a line from Trainspotting, which has absolutely
zero to do with MicroBot, except it starts with a little
prick. You’re a miniaturised, theoretically good robot thingy being
injected into an unnamed body that’s been hijacked by bad robot
thingies. Ah, but they too started out good, tasked with helping the
immune system do its thang, until getting a taste of the bacterial
dark side and realising black’s sexier. So, you have to make like
penicillin and cure.
Fantastic Voyage much? Uh-huh, you’re more correct than the
correctest of correcty things. MicroBot commences within the
hypodermic, before piercing skin (shouldn’t that make this ‘R’
rated? Oh yeah, Australia’s too fucking stupid to have something
that sensible) and splurting into the bloodstream of that hitherto
mentioned unnamed body.
MicroBot looks mighty purty for something representing human
innards. Globby globules glob about and various semi-transparent layers of
stuff we’d rather not know more about interact and form captivating
dances. It’s a shame then that clunky-looking robot sprites sully
The prettiness briefly distracts from the realisation that this is a
decidedly average twin-stick shooter. Starting out, your robot
thingy’s barely controllable against the bodily eddies that ebb and
flow and often have you struggling to move anywhere but headlong
into where you didn’t wanna go. Collect enough atoms (don’t let
Monty Burns catch you) and you can upgrade your defences and ability
to actually be controllable, but it takes way more slog – and
re-spawns - than most will be prepared to expend.
Ultimately, MicroBot is more Mr Floppy than orgasm. Stick
(pause for groan) with Super Stardust HD if you want an
orgasmic twin-stick shooter.