POSTED 8/10/14


MIDDLE-EARTH: SHADOW OF MORDOR

WB Games

Hello. My name is Talion. You killed my family. Prepare to die.

Actually, Sauron’s Black Captains killed Talion too, in their assault upon the Black Gate of Mordor. This would be a Major Bummer – and make for an Incredibly Short Game - were it not for the Ghost of Celebrimbor. Erm, enough capitalisation. He buddies up with Talion in the grey world between the black of life and white of death, with similar aims to his hauntee.

Yep, black’s a thing here.

There’s no Sisters of Mercy or noir lippy though, instead there’s an open world game sandwiched somewhere between JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings trilogy, with one aim and one aim only – bloodletting revenge. You traipse about an increasingly embiggened map slaughtering Sauron’s minions, ranging from grunts to higher-ranking officialdom. Although it’s a tad difficult to differentiate sometimes, as they all look like Shrek.

With easily-digestible RPG-like upgradable (assuming you don’t suck) wraith-assisted powers, blade, archery skills and a decent line in avoidance, you let loose seven shades of whappity on pretty much anybody who isn’t enslaved. That’s a lot of peop- erm, Shreks. You’ll also encounter Gollum, natch.

Applause please, as we got this far without mentioning Assassin’s Creed and recent Batman games. Me:SoM really is akin to these two bopped together and plopped into Tolkienvania. But it’s done SO well! Talion’s parkour skills work without contortionist training, while battle sequences – and boy are there lots - are incredibly fun and delightfully kinetic. Umm, if it’s appropriate to use the word “delightfully” when beheadings, stabbings and mucho kickety-kickety are involved.

Meanwhile, fail a mission to take out top brass and it’ll be remembered upon your next encounter. From simple “Nyahh-nyahhs” to fury at permanent scarring, this adds a personal level to proceedings.

Ultimately, Me:SoM is quite a miracle pill. There will be blood tonight!

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