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POSTED 21/3/11


MOTORSTORM APOCALYPSE

Sony
PS3

Want this? Well, you’re an insensitive, heartless prick who’s scoffing at the unspeakable horrors Mother Nature’s wrought upon our Kiwi and Japanese friends of late.

Yep, it’s 2011, where political correctness has swung so far wrongwards that everything might just offend somebody. It’s madness. You see, shit happens. Big shit, horrible shit, little shit, inconsequential shit, wonderful shit, runny shit... it happens. We’re horrified and saddened by recent catastrophes, but we can make the distinction between reality and a videogame.

Ah, but the crusaders are out wielding red textas. You won’t hear Pixies’ ‘Wave of Mutilation’ on the radio anytime soon... actually, bad example, as most radio’s too poxy to play it anyway. ‘I Feel the Earth Move’? Not for a while you won’t. It’s ridiculous, kneejerkaciousness. Hell, Nickelback offend us to the marrow, but nobody blacklists them!

So, save for some places it snuck out, Sony’s postponed releasing MotorStorm Apocalypse – a game that’s been in development for much longer than the past month. We don’t agree with the decision, but we understand it. Just one Helen Lovejoy-like nuff-nuff that’s ceased seeing crimson long enough to wield a phone and Alan Jones’ talkback number and Sony’s suddenly Satan, Hitler and Charlie Sheen all globbed into one. So, head the bad press off at the pass.

Speaking of passes, what about the game? It’s typical arcade racing, delivering lashings of vehicular types in a so-so single-player ‘Festival’ campaign and much better multiplayer (on or offline) in ‘Wreckreation’. Cues have been filched from the acest racing game since Burnout Paradise, Split/Second, but whilst bash ‘n ’crash fun, MA lacks its finesse – especially with numerous bollocks cheap crashes thrown up in its crumbling, quaking world of urban destruction.

What? Disgraceful! How insensitive! Ban this sick stunt! Dammit, what’s Alan Jones’ phone number?!

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.