FOR SPEED: THE RUN
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, Wii, PC, 3DS)
to know how to fuck with businessmen dripping in midlife crisis?
Show them the intro to The Run. You’ll actually be able to
pinpoint the second when their heart rips in half...
Want to know how to fuck with gamers? Make a racer in 2011 with
loading times that’d make a cassette-based Commodore 64 blush – pre-Pavloda.
Seriously, the waits between occasional playable outbreaks here
would have the Dalai Lama bleating.
The Run has an ace concept; basically Cannonball Run
meets The Sopranos. You’re some unlikeable dipshit – kinda
Liam Gallagher does Top Gear - who’s pissed off peeps you
shouldn’t piss off. Avoiding kipping with the fishies relies upon
winning a coast-to-coast USA race, sponsored by the redheaded chick
from Mad Men, who’s certainly aged well. She doesn’t look an
hour older than when last we saw her at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce
back in the ’60s!
With this story sticky-taped on, there are brief outbreaks of turgid
quicktime events, from mobster close calls to cop intimacy.
Demonstrate your gaming prowess by stabbing triangle at the right
time. Ooh, impressive!
Racing interludes are more trad. Pass X competitors, defeat
specified opponents, or just race hell-for-leather before the timer
goes zerotastical. Despite sound glitches and regularly dire
handling – if they’d stuck water under this instead of bitumen
there’d be decent speedboat rompishness - there’s entertainment,
especially overtaking opponents whilst avoiding barrages ranging
from Melbourne drivers to cops and rocks (but not
Cop Rock; now that could have been interesting). But it’s
SOOOOOOOO brief! Seriously, you’ll race for a few minutes then wait
as long for the next bit to load. AGH!
Meanwhile, Criterion’s Autolog is squeezed in for competitive types,
and various challenges and online pursuits await the patient.
Sadly, we think Need for Speed has hit that troublesome