NINJA GAIDEN Σ2 PLUS
somebody PLEASE think of the children?
Oh, they have – say
hello to Australia’s first R-rated little fiend of a game, a rebirth
of the popular, sororityified Ninja Gaiden Σ2, which in
itself was a rebirth of Ninja Gaiden II. Hey, we’re told
it’s good to recycle – and luckily games don’t degenerate with
repeated copying like when you used to dub from cassette to
cassette. Maybe one reader knows what the fuck we’re on about
That being said, there are instances of ‘no’ here.
No multiplayer, no online, no Japanese soundtrack. The framerate
hobbles occasionally, and our biggest irritation was the camera
getting hiccupy with no amount of squealing “BOO!” at our Vita
helping stop them.
Ah, but there’s also lots of ‘yes’ action,
including a welcoming softcock mode for those who find everything
just a bit too hard. The story – if you really need one for what’s
essentially padding between bouts of increasingly outrageous karate
actiongasmicness - has something to do with Ryu Hayabusa (what you
yell to summon Japanese public transport?) saving Mr Miyagi’s shop
from big black spiders doing the resurrection shuffle. Or something.
Then the CIA get involved with baddie ninjas and ninja chick pals,
big boss monster thingies and, erm, stuff.
The meaty bits
are literally meaty. Imagine if Monty Python concocted a ninjafied
version of the Holy Grail – you and your trusty currently
chosen weapon can lop arms, legs and heads off at will in grisly
Black Knight fashion that would be hilarious if it weren’t so
frenetic. You also get to bash the shite out of dogs, which should
have PETA foaming at the mouth. Poor puppy-wuppies.
primal, seriously gruesome fun, but in an exaggerated cartoon
violence kind of way. Still, NGΣ2+ certainly earned its
rating. Yet Helen Lovejoy remains unhappy...