PS3 (also on Xbox 360,
best things in life are free. But you can give them to the birds and
bees, I want money!”
Now, we don’t wish to speak ill of The
Flying Lizards, or indeed Barrett Strong or some beat combo calling
themselves ‘The Beatles’, but that famed statement of fiscal avarice
is intrinsically flawed. Well, if you look at it through the eyes of
the stars of heist ’em up Payday 2.
their silly masks.
You’re one of four over-entitled arseholes
who feel that stealing’s preferable to working for a living. OK, so
what’s involved with robbery is vaguely workesque, but few
nine-to-fivers blithely shoot civilians whilst trudging through
cubic servitude. Well, save for photographers.
questions of morality aside, you should have the gist – especially
as this is a sequel, as ably indicated by the “2” after the first
word of the title - that Payday 2’s all about heists.
Simoleons, artworks, bling... It don’t matter if it’s valuable.
That “2” is particularly apt, as it’s really two games. If
you’re a solo kinda crook you’re saddled with three assistants who
nail the ‘ass’ into the word. They make the Three Stooges look like
Einstein, Freud and Hawking (sans wheels) on super-smartypants
drugs. Basically, this makes everything shit as you la-la-la around
waiting for stuff such as drills to penetrate safes, desperately
staving off massed cop assaults while the moron trio bumbles.
But! If you dig playing with others online, Payday 2’s
a whole new haul game. Well, assuming that these others possess a
modicum of strategic nous.
Payday 2 is all kinds of
Tarantino – appropriate as ‘Little Green Bag’ plays while we type -
and that should be enough to get you onboard. Should you possess at
least three online accomplices...
Otherwise, stick with the
day job, motherfucker. Or befriend some birds and/or bees.