POSTED 5/4/11


MASTERS: TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 12

EA
PS3/Move (also on Xbox 360, Wii)

Whatever you do, don’t mention the ‘T’ person. Well, judging by the cover, whereby you have to play a keen round of ‘spot the Tiger’. It would appear certain well-publicised indiscretions may have EA’s marketing peeps shitting brickular objects...

Funnily enough, they don’t need to ravage their colons via gruntaceous cubic excretions, for they’ve got a corking golf game on their hands, aided and abetted muchly by the word ‘Masters’.

Yep, it may have a poxy logo that looks like a first form graphic design slacker with all the imagination of a rubber chicken chucked it together minutes before home time, but when it comes to the old flog backwards, Augusta’s it baby, and it’s represented here in all its doglegged, Amen Cornered glory. Tiger or no Tiger.

But there is a Tiger, and despite the packaging’s apparent lengths to minimise his perceived involvement, he’s all over this puppy like nappy rash. Not that puppies usually wear nappies, but whatever.

As such, you can play Mr Mess-around, or do the funnerer thing and create your own player – fuck-ugly threads and all (golf – the sport fashion forgot. WIN a green jacket?!) - and work your way up from the schmoes to the pros.

The caddy’s so omnipresent with ‘suggestions’ that you’ll sometimes feel like snapping “if you know so fucking much then why don’t you swing the club?”, but you can override him and stuff things up of your own volition.

Meanwhile, PlayStation Move’s supported, and it suits the simplified-yet-honed controls, although we preferred old faithful DualShock. Putting’s been re-jigged again, and is a pain in the rectum akin to passing an oblong piece of masonry, but practice makes perf... erm, better.

This new PGA thingy is golf-at-home aceness, even if you can’t see the Woods for the tees...

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