MASTERS: TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 12
PS3/Move (also on Xbox 360, Wii)
do, don’t mention the ‘T’ person. Well, judging by the cover,
whereby you have to play a keen round of ‘spot the Tiger’. It would
appear certain well-publicised indiscretions may have EA’s marketing
peeps shitting brickular objects...
Funnily enough, they don’t need to ravage their colons via
gruntaceous cubic excretions, for they’ve got a corking golf game on
their hands, aided and abetted muchly by the word ‘Masters’.
Yep, it may have a poxy logo that looks like a first form graphic
design slacker with all the imagination of a rubber chicken chucked
it together minutes before home time, but when it comes to the old
flog backwards, Augusta’s it baby, and it’s represented here in all
its doglegged, Amen Cornered glory. Tiger or no Tiger.
But there is a Tiger, and despite the packaging’s apparent lengths
to minimise his perceived involvement, he’s all over this puppy like
nappy rash. Not that puppies usually wear nappies, but whatever.
As such, you can play Mr Mess-around, or do the funnerer thing and
create your own player – fuck-ugly threads and all (golf – the sport
fashion forgot. WIN a green jacket?!) - and work your way up from
the schmoes to the pros.
The caddy’s so omnipresent with ‘suggestions’ that you’ll sometimes
feel like snapping “if you know so fucking much then why don’t you
swing the club?”, but you can override him and stuff things up of
your own volition.
Meanwhile, PlayStation Move’s supported, and it suits the
simplified-yet-honed controls, although we preferred old faithful
DualShock. Putting’s been re-jigged again, and is a pain in the
rectum akin to passing an oblong piece of masonry, but practice
makes perf... erm, better.
This new PGA thingy is golf-at-home aceness, even if you can’t see
the Woods for the tees...