up if you didn’t imagine growing up to be a superhero when you were
a child. Yep, we’re not seeing many hands waggling about.
Our hands aren’t up either, for we couldn’t wait until the day the
ability to rain fiery lightning death down upon our enemies switched
on somewhere deep within us. Naturally, as most kids not named Peter
Parker or Tony Stark discover, it’s all bullshit. Just another lie
fed to us by mass media. Still, at least we don’t have to keep our
invisible plane all squeaky Windex clean.
PowerUp Heroes is here to give kids – and adults - with
healthy imaginations an alternative to eternal disillusionment. It
nabs your carefully-constructed avatarical X-you, plops it into
body-snuggly lycra and lets you loose on assorted villainous scum
with the zotting and the kicking and the punching and the whatnot.
Humiliate said villainous scum and you get to dack them, adding
their duds to your wardrobe. First you get the suits, then you get
The requisite pieces are here, save for one. We hate saying it, but,
like dead puppies, PowerUp Heroes isn’t much fun. There’s no
great freedom to your fisticuffs. Only shite freedom. Now, some may
say shite freedom’s better than no freedom, but our buddy William
Wallace disagrees – so hard that he’s gone blue in the face.
You’ve limited ‘super attacks’, which need to power up before reuse;
three for the suit you’re wearing, three for your spare which you
can change into on the hop. Deplete these and you can go the
traditional biff, but there’s no flow, or reliable movement reading.
The blipkids agreed, so were running around like the red cordial
junkies they are destroying Gamesblip HQ within minutes, rather than
Damn, where’d we put the Windex?