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POSTED
27/9/13
PUPPETEER
Sony
PS3
You
dress me up, I’m your puppet. You give me head, I love it...
Wha-wha-what?!
OK, try to keep up. Bear steals stone and
scissors, switches off moon, nabs kiddie souls and stuffs them into
puppets. Kutaro, who you control occasionally between cutscenes, is
one such puppet, rendered headless thanks to the bear – who’s
declared himself king - chomping it. Pinocchio may be
fucked up, but it’s got nothing on this.
Luckily, you’re
allowed by some magical mysticism to wield the scissors, so along
with Peter Lorre cat/bitchy princessesque chick/whichever orbiting
helper (hello Wizball) you plummet through various ‘acts’,
slashing scenery and amassing powers like ninja bombs, shields and
such.
As the title intimates, and our already mentioning
puppets reiterates, it’s all done puppet show style. Sets flit
hither and thither, and scenes are usually restricted to single
frames. Amazing screen-sized marionettes wibble and threaten, while
you toddle along trying to retrieve chunks of moonstone to get that
large lunar thingy all illuminated again.
Yeah, so what about
that head business? Well, since you’ve had yours munched off, you’re
able to grab any old bonce going as you progress. These possess
various vague powers, usually more useful for collecting bonuses
than accomplishing anything super-constructive.
Story, style,
sound – everything about Puppeteer is super. Almost.
Unfortunately it seems everybody was so distracted fabricating
wonderful whimsy that they forgot to make the most important bit –
controls - consistently functional. They’re just so... wishy-washy.
Innumerable times you’ll have NFI what to do until you plummet to
stringy, wooden death – still wondering what the utter fuck
happened. Stubbornness eventually rewards, but that’s not how these
things should roll.
The only reason for nobody to look for a
Puppeteer in today’s wintry economic climate is ’cos the
controls suck. Now that’s a shame when folks be throwin’ away a
perfectly good headless boy like that...
  
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CLICK
THIS!
CLICK
THIS!
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