review
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POSTED 4/9/15


PURE HOLD’EM

VooFoo Studios/Ripstone



Can’t read my, can’t read my, no he can’t read my poker face...

While Ms Gaga may ooze confidence in her facial inscrutability, we don’t. We have a vague notion as to what poker entails, however Lone Star State rules confound us more than Ikea instructions.

Luckily, tutorials abound in Pure Hold’em to help players get the gist of everything from blinds and bluffs to flushes and flops. But it’s a lot for the novice to take in.

You’re given a modest introductory stipend, allowing you to play the kindie table, a slightly harder one or the next one, where you’ll likely walk away in nought but your undies after one or two hands. Lose that dough and you have to s-l-o-w-l-y chip away building your pot so as to be able to take on the bigwigs.

Or, of course, you can drop a fuckload of real world cash to fill your pot... in a game that already costs a decent wad in itself. In our broken 21st century culture where gambling is encouraged at any and every turn, this is un-fucking-conscionable. We could go on endlessly about how utterly bereft or morality this is, but luckily for you we only have a ~300 word limit.

Putting that aside, like the ace Pure Chess and Pure Pool everything’s quite pretty – although some decks are so overdesigned as to be barely distinguishable as playing cards. Still, you can select your own, as well as fiddling with table décor and musical accompaniment.

Play locally to get the hang of things, create friend tournaments or just go all in online against strangers – who, in our brief experience before running out of pottiness, tend to go all in at every possible turn.

Pure Hold’em appears to offer a realistic Texan poker experience. Especially as it tries to fleece you at most every turn. Mum-mum-mum-mah...

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.